5 things I wish I’d known when I became a Christian
I am surprised that, as a young man, I ever had any friends.
I was sociable – enjoyed going out for a drink and conversation (still do), but I was also opinionated, narrow minded and, well, intolerant of other views. So, when I became a Christian 30 years ago, I became more convinced than ever that whatever I read in the Bible was the only possible interpretation. Everyone else was on the highway to perpetual torment unless they sorted themselves out.
All this was heightened by the overtly evangelical reading and teaching I sought out to confirm my opinions. (…so you see we had “echo chambers” before social media).
To be sure, in another 30 years, I might look back again and say the same thing. But in the meantime, here are 5 things I wish someone had sat down and explained to me.
1. “My church is Bible based” is not something to go around declaring
I was always told that MY church was the Bible based one, the event I was attending was THE Bible based event, and that WE were the Bible believing people. Everybody else out there needed correcting. Being a bit slow, it took me years to work that ‘everybody else out there’ was saying exactly the same thing as me. Except they were all going to very different churches than me, and attending different events to me. This was inconvenient. It forced me to look again at what I thought was “clearly Biblical” — and even occasionally to stop correcting other Christians! But it’s the way it is.
Pretty much everybody says their church is Bible based. Everybody says their view is the Biblically correct one. And if they don’t, well something odd is going on there (don’t go there!).
2. Sometimes I would feel disappointed by God
This is tough. There are more politically correct, churchy ways of saying this, like “God’s ways are higher than our ways”. But, while that is true, it surfs over the harder truth. We can feel bitterly disappointed by God.
Maybe you have had personal life-struggles, serious illness of family members that after much prayer doesn’t get better – maybe it gets worse; or praying for a family member to know the Lord – for decades. It’s disappointing. It hurts.
But the problem here is that our “deal” with God is not what we often think it is. You know that deal that some churches offer? The one where, of course, we know some bad stuff might happen to us as Christians, but the REALLY bad stuff, the life events that traumatise? They won’t happen as long as we stick to God.
But there is no deal like that.
There actually is a deal but that is not it. The deal we have is about God keeping his promises even if we can’t see that today. A God who shares our disappointments with us – and even chooses suffering for himself. The problem is that we have already decided what our God should and shouldn’t do. As Gerard Hughes says:
We have domesticated God …
“We create a God who favours us, our groups, our Church and who overthrows our enemies. But God is … a God who breaks down our comforting prejudices, false securities, religious and secular. This is painful but it is the pain of rebirth. … God is the God of surprises who, in the darkness and tears of things breaks down our false images and securities. This in-breaking can feel to us like disintegration but it is the disintegration of the ear of wheat. If it does not die to bring new life, it shrivels away on its own”.
3. God is good!
Learning to be grateful is life transforming.
I am regularly, sometimes daily, struck with gratitude to God for so many good things. For example, I am frequently gobsmacked at these winter skies — I didn’t even know that colours like that existed. And grateful too for the many bad things that don’t happen — illnesses I don’t have, accidents that should have happened when I was driving but didn’t, situations at work and church which could have been much worse but weren’t …
Being grateful, and expressing that gratitude, is key to our well-being. In the past few years there have been many secular studies, books and news on “gratitude”. Lots of clever people will now tell you that an attitude of gratitude is good for your health!
Being grateful is an ancient Christian custom. But it’s also a discipline, a mind-set, we must practice, especially for those us who live in wealthy countries where we forget the blessings of food, or simply making it to another day.
Through my car window — last week
4. Original sin and original goodness — we under-estimate both
We make two mistakes – at least I do.
Sin is more pervasive, has a greater hold on us, than we think. I am convinced for example the way Christians sometimes treat each other in church, between churches, and especially online, … is sin, pure and simple. We imagine that we are somehow the defenders of the faith, our job is to put others right, until, as someone said:
Being right becomes more important than being Christ like
We under-estimate sin in our lives – we even dress it up as something fine.
But we also under-estimate the goodness of God in our lives. Our Christian worldview teaches us that although on the surface we appear decent, polite and virtuous, beneath that we are sinful, selfish, and we hurt one another. And there the story ends. But that isn’t the end! Beneath THAT we were all created in God’s image. “Imago Dei”, the image of God within us is good. It does not rub off, it sticks. It’s the reason we see goodness in people from all walks of life, of all beliefs, and no belief.
I am not trying to pick a fight with Calvinists on their doctrine of “total depravity” of mankind. But I am saying as Christians we can fixate on our sin and fallen nature, and completely lose the familiarity of Christ in us – the hope of glory!
5. In the end this is about hearts, not minds
I was recently privileged to officiate at Joan’s funeral in Wythenshawe — a remarkable elderly lady. No, really, she was astonishing. At 94 she lit up any room just by walking in. One example: on a recent hospital admission, she was such an outstanding, cheering influence that the ward sister asked her if she would consider volunteering as a hospital visitor – she was in her nineties for goodness sake!
Joan attended the church I used to minister at, but I recall her understanding of “the gospel” was limited. The concept of sin was foreign to her, so the idea that someone died for her sin was strange. I know this because Joan attended the baptism classes I held, but stopped coming after the first week. Joan didn’t get it.
And yet here is a comment from another member of the church which sums up Joan’s faith:
… She often asked us to pray with her and was undoubtedly following the Lord Jesus. Joan really wanted to please Jesus. Her gracious humility and simple faith shone out. And her smile was such a joy to behold even when she was at a difficult point in life.
“Ah yes, but she couldn’t recite the 4 points of the Gospel could she! … God’s nature — man’s condition — God’s solution — man’s response …”
But so what?
I also cannot articulate the Gospel in ways that people much smarter than me can. The Bible talks about calling on the name of Jesus. It talks about confessing with our mouths and believing in our hearts that Jesus is Lord. That is enough.
This give me hope! It means I can enter a theological argument, be completely wrong (according to some), and it’s OK! … and I’m still an evangelical by the way!
Isn’t God good!
Joan Bailey 1923–2017 (with permission)
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This article was also published by The Baptist Times and by Premier Christianity where there is also an extensive comments thread
I’m so thankful for blogs like this. It makes me feel like I’m not the only one out here striving. I’m 26 and just started taking my walk with God seriously. Before it was just me mimicking what I saw my parents do. Thank God for you and be blessed in Jesus name.
Thank you Elisha for reading and taking the trouble to write such an encouraging comment 🙂 Bless you in your walk with God
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Very helpful, Chris! Yes so easy to make a god out of our theology and forget that God cannot be domesticated — there needs to be space for mystery while at the same time giving Him the best of our intellect and emotions.
Yes its that combination of keeping our brains switched on but being open to God doing a new and surprising thing that we find hard. People seem to go completely one way or the other.
Some good pluses and a few minuses! All good things to remember though.
Really really love this one Chris. Thank you!
Just read this, very helpful and I can relate to most, if not all.
Well thanks for taking the time to read and comment Jonny 🙂